Maltered states

Times four, family in the wilderness. Or as Wildernessy it can get in the UK. It starts off the same as always, creeping up on you quick like a caffeine induced green goblin climbing your leg then the nausea starts. Easier to manage after numerous sessions but still present. Vibrations and waviness, the empty of the cage sitting there dark and gangly, Rio is missed. I play the music, yes this time there was slight interruption and its always difficult to navigate through the songs to suit all in the room but I try to make it work. Five. Three  Point Five Twice. One. Various levels which is also a challenge because people leave earlier than others, not everyone stays at the party for the same amount of time then there’s a mis match of consciousness. But the music again helps for portals to be seen. The beats unravel themselves like a 3D space map producing the odd yellow circular cone, large purple rubix cube and plenty of spheres.

The light switches move in and out of existence, then there’s 6. The wall hanger disappears and reappears and I don’t know if I was in control of it or not. The Crumbs on the table seemed like they were another world and of course the geometric purple tunnels show their purpose like motorways and I seemed to understand how Kanye West felt. It really did feel like the music was being shown to me in a different format. It was more than visual it became epic. The redemption song…Save Me….extremely powerful and emotive put me in a Western like West World. My music taste was challenged at times, and I think it was warranted, once but overall the playlist worked.

Intense as fuck, perspective always gained and unimaginable beauty in everything around me. I’m floating nicely until I went downstairs and I felt the uncomfortableness. Sometimes I think the hubeys allows me to see the souls of people, beyond the eyes and deeper than flesh.=. When I turned around in bed I saw her through the ages, again, grey hairs, beautiful still, aging right in front of me and it gets sad, real sad but that wasn’t the uncomfortableness. The hubeys show me what people are insecure about, or it shows me what shoots out to me about a person, I’m not really sure but I was shown and briefly it was uncomfortable. When the mood was back all was well. The highlights were the purple cone tunnels, Tadow! You don’t wann smoke! Oasis and Redemption. The perspective gets pretty intense, and I realise each time I do it, it allows me to venture further into the space.

It feels like this. Everything I am experiencing is through my eyes, my sense of touch, my hearing, my taste buds etc. I experience the world through my interpretation of external sensation. So when I come across another human being I am naturally supposed to give up a percentage of my experience and accept another persons. This is what happens when you listen, when you debate and when you fall in love. When we resist or reject another person’s experience we tend to hate or fight. Sometimes in life you have to resist another person’s experience because they are taking yours, or becoming a threat to you and that’s why countries have armies and Americans have arms. When the hubeys enter I zoom out of my perspective and I experience a cross sectional representation of the  people around me and I can choose to feel what they feel but I haven’t been able to cross that line. I just know the lines are there. I am no longer what my body is in this realm and I become something else.  Slightly transcendental where possession and emotion no longer exist. Wander, exploration and deeper understanding are the engine powering the journey and I end up outside of myself and at the cross roads, honestly with no idea where to go so subsequently I zoom straight back.  Fun though.

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